Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) means to make right. It's an ancient Hawaiian healing practice of forgiveness.
E KALA MAI IA 'U = (I'm Sorry, Please Forgive Me)
MAHALO NUI LOA = (Thank You Greatly)
ALOHA NO WAU IA 'OE = (Aloha To You, "I Love You")
MAHALO NUI LOA = (Thank You Greatly)
ALOHA NO WAU IA 'OE = (Aloha To You, "I Love You")
The heart of Hoʻoponopono is taking full responsibility for every emotion and feeling in your life. This is empowering because it means that you don’t have to change another person, it’s an inside job anyone can do. It feels empowering as you are then no longer the victim in any shape of form! It frees you to resolve your problems. You are totally responsible for your own responses to life, for what you perceive to be your reality.
It’s so easy to repeat those four phrases:
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
So, whatever you might be feeling about a situation or another person, such as rage, anger, frustration, helplessness, sadness, or any other negative emotions, understand that these are your own emotions and have nothing to do with the situation upsetting you, or the other person being the perpetrator. All you do is 100% own your feelings, your own reaction, triggered often by the various filters we built up in our subconscious over the years.
So, using the Hoʻoponopono technique to clean or clear your own feelings in yourself and starting to feel better as a result, then something else happens that is exciting. Energetically, this affects the other person/s or situation and also causes a change to happen.
Hoʻoponopono is all about dissolving a problem within yourself. It’s not about changing anything on the outside.
Whenever people look on the outside, e.g. I don’t like that person or that situation, they are coming from the wrong perspective in terms of Hoʻoponopono. Instead, what you want to look at is, ‘why are you afraid, or disturbed, or whatever, about …’ why are you focusing on the situation? Hoʻoponopono will help you dissolve that concern, that worry.
As you take care of the feeling of concern inside of yourself, the problem, as you experience it, will dissolve from an energetic level.
So, the key is, focus on the ‘inner’, rather than on the ‘outer’. We want to clean our perception of reality on the inside, our perception of lack – rather than thinking, when will the change in my circumstances happen? Then we see that there is an abundance of possibilities around us.
When it comes to Hoʻoponopono, there are no ‘outer’ problems. You perceive a problem as outside of yourself relying on your senses and interpreting the events according to your subconscious filters. One of Dr. Hew Len’s favourite statements is, “Have you ever noticed, that when there is a problem, you are there?!”
Why? because you are participating in the creation of that problem. The participation is an ‘inside event’. So, when you take care of the problem on the inside, cleaning that issue as you perceive it, in your mind-body system, then, that ‘outer’ will change.
When we focus on that problem residing in our psyche, that problem we are holding in our awareness, and then do the Hoʻoponopono cleaning:
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
… that problem inside of us will then dissolve. When you don’t feel it in your system any more, you won’t even see it any more. Even if you still see the physical evidence, new ideas of opportunities rise up within you to deal with it, but, again, this still comes from within you.
When it comes to issues with another person, it’s not about the other person, it’s about yourself; it’s not so much forgiving the other person, but forgiving yourself.
Let’s dissect the phrases:
When I say, “I’m sorry”, I am actually saying, “I’m sorry that I have been unconscious, please forgive me for not being aware of my own programming, my own beliefs, my own negativity, of my past memories. Forgive me, and I am sorry for not being alert in a conscious responsible way to how helped create the problem I am perceiving.”
The next phrase you’re saying is, “Thank you”. You’re thanking Divinity for cleaning this problem from within you.
Then finish off with, “I love you”. The essence of Divinity is love, thus you are merging yourself with the essence of love itself. This is also expressing your devotion of the Divine.
Thus, there is quite a bit of energy behind each of those phrases, almost like a spiritual combination lock that opens up the feelings within you, and then releases them.
So, it does not matter whatever it is, an issue of forgiveness of somebody else, or whatever you are perceiving as a problem, focus on that as you are saying those four phrases, building a connection with the Divine. That is the recipe. Quite simple and powerful.
Forgiveness Can be a challenge ... a very raw and personal post.
( A story that is intended to inspire a healing process in those who are struggling with it)
(Picture here of my mother and myself as a little one.)A few days after the International Mother’s Day (the UK celebrates it in March), I wish to honour my mother.
Those who know me very well know that I had a difficult upbringing and a very bad relationship with my mother. Suffice it to say that when I flew over to Germany from Hong Kong, where I lived at the time, for the funeral of her untimely death at 65, I stood at the large family tomb where she was laid to rest, and was exceedingly glad that she was finally gone!
Throughout my years on this earth with her around I did not feel safe, accepted, wanted, treasured, and loved for who I was and am. Rather, I felt the bitter resentment from her that I was not a boy, I never measured up to her extremely high expectations, simply, I was not good enough. She displayed many classic narcissistic traits. I was a huge disappointment, constantly compared to other kids, neglected and abandoned into my own little world, left for abuse and sexual harassment as a little girl, and the list goes on.
It took me decades to work through to forgiveness, and now at nearly 70 I can confidently say that I have 100% totally forgiven her, from my heart, not just from my head! Although beyond the veil, I have a cherished and loving relationship with her, now.
What happened? Well, two major aspects: I decided to really understand her life, her childhood, etc. from her perspective … imaginatively walking in her shoes.
My mother had a complex family upbringing. Her mother, my grandmother, came from a very old German aristocratic and nobility lineage, related to Bavarian royalty. Her father was a very wealthy highly educated lawyer and judge of Jewish descend with a pharmaceutical family legacy.
Her parents' personal tragedy and complicated family history shaped her into the person she became. Plus, her family lost virtually everything due to the World Wars. They were in a position to save and get many Jewish people rescued. My grandfather died when my mother was only 19. Stories abound around much trauma and hardship she, her mother and her four siblings endured.
She fought hard to achieve the highest possible grades to become a top qualified clinical pharmacist ... all during WWII, and at a time when women did not typically go to university.
And the other aspect, coming to the fullest realisation that without forgiveness, letting go of all the perceived wrongs, I perpetuated in my own prison. Being my own cruel prison guardian that not only affected my own life, but also the life of my family, my dearest loved ones.
I was stuck in a self limited life. You see, it is never about the perpetrator, it is never about what happened to you, but how you interpret, personally frame what happened and how you deal with it.
You are not responsible for someone else’s wrong, but you are responsible for your own healing and way out of your own personal prison. And you are responsible to lovingly create boundaries that honour your own sovereignty.
When I let go of the tremendous load of baggage I had allowed to accumulate throughout my life, I realised that I had attracted people into my life by whom I experienced virtually the same or similar as from my mother. Once I let go, I opened the door to walk free.
Yes it is true, you will continue to walk in the vicious deadly circle, attracting the same over and over, until you learn your lesson of complete forgiveness, letting go, and then honouring your own authenticity. We are here on this earth to learn the lessons of forgiveness!
My biggest example came from someone dying on a cross saying, “Father forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing!”
Once I walked in peace re all that had happened, I started seeing how truly amazing and pricelessly precious and special my mother was!
I deeply appreciated her own wounds, battles, traumas, loneliness and devastations. She was trying to love her daughter from a wounded self that was still bleeding.
Throughout her life her dreams were cut short. Her dreams withered on the vine. She was a victim of her time. She reached new heights and then was badly pushed back down to suffer.
(Picture of my mother and father shortly before her death in 1985.)Once I was able to extend compassion and forgiveness to her, my love for her started developing.
Also, the moment I was able to fully forgive her, my Spanish cousin (grandfather’s side ... I have more relatives in Spain than Germany now...), started sharing some significant research into our ancestry findings with numerous pictures and copious documents. I came to realise that I was and am on an ancestral soul trajectory of divinely healing others as a mission for my life.
Why do I write all this on a public post on the Internet, you might wonder? Well, my mission is to offer hope, healing and joy. There are millions of people who have sustained great suffering and trauma at the hands of those close to them, and forgiveness can be hard to work through!
So, yes, I am a psychologist, so yes, I have university degrees under my belt, so yes, I have textbook knowledge, but I also understand that I need to be relatable to the people I am divinely chosen to help. I need to be relatable to my clients first.
Most likely you have been through far worse life traumas than I had. Most likely you have been through situations that others would not have coped, and did not cope. So, kudos to you for still being with us, and willing to heal and move forward, willing to be a shining light of hope to those in your life.
If I can walk by your side and be an encouragement, be an inspiration, be a guide for transformation in your life for the greater good for us all, I would be deeply honoured! Yes, I availed myself to holistic psychological healing tools, plus essential oils specifically chosen to work on the cellular level of trauma and PTSD. This is something I also offer my clients!
To complete, I read the following earlier on and it spoke to me, it might speak to you, too:
“As an empathic woman with intuitive gifts, it can take a lifetime to come into your full power and claim your truth.
This is especially true for those of us with a great deal of childhood trauma to uncover and resolve-- making it feel massively unsafe to rise in your sovereignty” (Carla Savetsky)
Are you willing to claim your truth?
Much love to you 
