The Aroma Chi Womanly Arts of Flourishing
You Are a Goddess
~My Story~

Like most stories, mine started a long, long time ago, at a time when the most important human beings were men, and were respected as that. 

So, let's start with my grandmother (picture below). She was an illegitimate child, the child of a man of power, a man who held positions and had wealth. He was an ambassador to St. Petersburg in Russia, seconded by King Ludwig II of Bavaria. Yes, the same king responsible for the dreamy fairytale castles such as Neuschwanstein, which became the inspiration of Disney. The same king who was besotted about Wagner and his music. 

German politicians were at that time all aristocrats/royals, and as powerful men they had the wherewithal to get what they wanted and when they wanted it. So, my biological great grandfather just happened to fancy my great grandmother, a prima donna opera singer, and he got what he wanted and had the affair with her as his mistress. Sadly she died during childbirth, leaving my grandmother virtually an orphan. Usually those unplanned aristocrat kids were absorbed at the court somehow, especially if they were irrelevant female kids, to cover up privileged patriarchal behaviours. When she was older, my grandmother worked as a lady-in-waiting at the court.

All in all, my grandmother herself gave birth to five daughters, and she lost a few sons. Having a boy child was super important at the time, supplying a male heir. As it so happened my own mother produced one daughter, and her son, my brother, died in childbirth.

Growing up, I heard it innumerable times from my mother that she would never had all the trouble she had with me, if only I had been a boy.

I became a tomboy and dressed like a boy, hoping to please and find acceptance with my mother, just like she had once desperately tried to be accepted by her mother.

I never did have a loving relationship with my mother, and was actually glad when she was finally out of the way, when I stood at the family tomb after her death. It took many years, and virtually running away from Germany, living abroad, to come to full forgiveness. There were other things that warped and shaped me growing up, various kind of sexual abuse, rape, death threats, etc. too long a list to mention here. I am what they call a wounded healer, over the years I devoted myself to a lot of various inner healing work, plus earned two degrees in psychology. I knew, that if I could sort myself, I could also help other women with similar predicaments, trauma, Complex PTSD etc. 

Over time, I found myself heavily leaning towards the healing work within archetypes, types-and-shadows, symbolism, allegorical stories, some Jungian collective unconscious concepts, however latterly  focusing more on energy psychology, metaphysics and Eastern-Western spirituality.

One of the biggest impacts in my own healing process was coming across tao tantric arts and sacred sexuality for women, especially learning about the divine feminine and opening to feminine nurturing, something I was denied during my formative years.

The divine feminine essence life force, or goddess consciousness that lives in us, desires to awaken, heal and transform, transcending the human mind and ego because it springs from the pure energy of love.

It is connected to the wisdom of the heart, to natural and divine laws, and compassion, harmonious and peaceful living.

As an archetype, the bodhisattva, Kuan Yin, much loved all over the Orient and the Far East, became very meaningful in my own healing and that of my female clients, as well as of course being part of sacred Sisterhood Circle gatherings.

Considering that my work and mission in life (as well as my two websites) is aligned with the archetypical values of Kuan Yin, let me write about it in a short summery.

Her name Kuan Yin / Guan Shi Yin literally translates, "She who hears the cries of the world". She is the Archetype of Mercy, Compassion, and Kindness with a strong mission to bring reverence to the female body and soul. This is a healing of great importance, redressing the judgments and negative messages about women's bodies, healing from the damaging effects of patriarchy in our society and media.

The archetypal themes of Kuan Yin are:

  • Compassion, kindness and tenderness
  • Opening to receive
  • Nourishment
  • The female body
  • Healing and loving touch

(artwork: Hillary Wilson)

The first focus of Kuan Yin's values centres upon nurturing yourself. She holds self-kindness as a jewel of healing at the heart of Divine Feminine awakening. It starts with how you practice compassion with yourself, and with other women. This is the healing balm that soothes the bitter wounds of self-criticism, self-judgment, self-harming, and self-hatred.

As a Bodhisattva, freed from attachments, Kuan Yin has no need of offerings, worship, praise, demotions.  She asks only one thing — that we share her values of Compassion and Love for all sentient beings.